Turning Dead Ends into Doorways: How to Grow through Whatever Life Throws Your Way Hot

At first, when I began Ms. Boden's book, I was not "grabbed", but as I continued onto the end--I found I had received a very intimate portrait of the life of a mother, a spiritual counselor, a dancer, a facilitator of women's groups, a doula, and a loving friend. Ms. Boden's book is not your typical self-help text, and I am grateful that she deviated from the standard self-help fare.

Part of why I was not very excited about reading the author's book was the cliched, somewhat formulaic titles of the chapters such as, "Entering the Unknown, One Step at a Time" or "Energy: The Heart of Navigating the Unknown". Most self-help books start with a fairly traditional premise that changing your thinking will heal your life. And, then the typical book will share a few of the author's personal stories, a few of their clients personal stories, and wrap the whole book up with a 'happy, peaceful' bow that reassures each reader that they can make the same changes by doing the homework and thinking outlined in the book.

Ms. Boden says in the first chapter, "...I've noticed how some spiritual beliefs equate achieving a certain positive outcome with healing. The idea that individuals can learn a particular lesson and free themselves from tangible illnesses. The notion that inner work plus positive thought is the road to manifesting exact dreams. The view that reality is a reflection of thought and so bad things can be avoided by changing thought...." She finds that this 'tit-for-tat' spiritual approach can leave many people feeling like they have failed spirituality, and it left her feeling on the outside of spiritual understanding when she witnesses her father condemning her mother for her sudden blindness. Her father, who established and led a spiritual community, and then accused Ms. Boden's mother of holding onto 'bad karma' when she went blind at an early age, caused Boden a deep and early skepticism of all things spiritual. The author rejected all spirituality and religion until life events showed her that she had a deep and personal connection to spiritual work. Hence, this book teaching what she calls Practical Spirituality.

What is really special and surprising about this book is the author's intimate sharing of her own life journey as she is writing the book. Truly, an alternate title for the book could have been, OPEN THE DOOR AND WELCOME SYNCHRONICITY. At least four different chapters throughout the book feature startling events in her own life that interconnect far too closely and dramatically with the chapters of her book. For example, in the chapter on "Fear" two of her close friends wrestle with sudden, unexpected fear that shocks the author. One friend is diagnosed with rectal cancer, and the other friend's newborn suddenly requires a heart transplant to stay alive. In a later chapter in the book, as the author begins to write the chapter on "Surrender", Boden is awakened by the screams of her teenage daughter, who she races to the emergency room. Later the next day, she and her husband have to confront the diagnosis of a juvenile form of ovarian cancer that causes the loss of an ovary, three surgeries, chemotherapy, and the journey of using traditional medicine to heal the unthinkable. Boden even shares earlier in the book that when her daughter began to suffer from mild stomach complaints that she had mistakenly believed it to be nothing more than common dairy and gluten allergies, instead of following up her daughter's symptoms with traditional medicine to see if the stomach complaints were something more serious.

I admired the honesty of Ms. Boden in detailing the difficult moments in her personal life, the open sharing of her friends' stories and struggles, and her disdain for many spiritual self-help books, as she writes and presents her own book to the reader. I found myself absorbed in reading and learning about her life and the insights she gained and shared with readers as she confronted truly difficult moments.

However, a couple of the chapters were quite hollow and vague like the one on "Energy". Boden writes, "Because energy is everywhere, we've all been interacting with energy. The shift is developing consciousness and committing to get behind energy. One key is growing a trust-based mutual relationship with whatever energy you follow. We're generating a conversation with energy, not offering a lecture, yes?" Yes, hollow and vague trivialities that take the reader nowhere.

The activities and exercises involving journaling, dance, meditation, contemplating, etc. were repetitive and boring at times. I found myself skipping over most of them as the book went along. The questions were often simplistic and did not aid the reader in establishing new or deeper understanding most of the time.

What will keep the reader involved is the ongoing stories of Ms. Boden's intimate family circle, her friend's life stories, and her clients' insights. They paint a portrait of a wonderful world of caring, connected, and brave women.